"What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do." John Ruskin

Feeling like you’re part of the gang is crucial to the human experience. All people get stressed out when we’re left out. A new study published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, finds that a feeling of inclusion can come from something as simple as eye contact from a stranger.

Psychologists already know that humans have to feel connected to each other to be happy. A knitting circle, a church choir, or a friendly neighbour can all feed that need for connection. Eric D. Wesselmann of Purdue University wanted to know justhow small a cue could help someone feel connected. He co-wrote the study with Florencia D. Cardoso of the Universidad Nacional de Mar del Plata in Argentina, Samantha Slater of Ohio University, and Kipling D. Williams of Purdue. “Some of my co-authors have found, for example, that people have reported that they felt bothered sometimes even when a stranger hasn’t acknowledged them,” Wesselmann says. He and his authors came up with an experiment to test that.

The study was carried out with the cooperation of people on campus at Purdue University. A research assistant walked along a well-populated path, picked a subject, and either met that person’s eyes, met their eyes and smiled, or looked in the direction of the person’s eyes, but past them—past an ear, for example, “looking at them as if they were air,” Wesselmann says. When the assistant had passed the person, he or she gave a thumbs-up behind the back to indicate that another experimenter should stop that person. The second experimenter asked, “Within the last minute, how disconnected do you feel from others?”

People who had gotten eye contact from the research assistant, with or without a smile, felt less disconnected than people who had been looked at as if they weren’t there.

“These are people that you don’t know, just walking by you, but them looking at you or giving you the air gaze—looking through you—seemed to have at least momentary effect,” Wesselmann says. Other research has found that even being ostracized by a group you want nothing to do with, like the Ku Klux Klan, can make people feel left out, so it’s not surprising that being pointedly ignored can have the same effect. “What we find so interesting about this is that now we can further speak to the power of human social connection,” Wesselmann says. “It seems to be a very strong phenomenon.”

I came across this image this morning.

A boy went to war in 1914 and left his bike chained to a tree.

Makes you think doesn't it?

Do you often feel ‘brain dead’ in meetings? There may be a good reason for it according to research led by scientists at the Virginia Tech Carilion Research Institute.

The researchers found that small-group dynamics - such as jury deliberations, collective bargaining sessions, and cocktail parties - can alter the expression of IQ in some susceptible  people. "You may joke about how committee meetings make you feel brain dead, but our findings suggest that they may make you act brain dead as well," said Read Montague, director of the Human Neuroimaging Laboratory and Computational Psychiatry Unit at the Virginia Tech Carilion Research Institute, who led the study.

The scientists used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to investigate how the brain processes information about social status in small groups and how perceptions of that status affect expressions of cognitive capacity.

Always demand the best from yourself so that others can see what you are capable of. Successful people don't simply give a project hard work. They give it their best work. What you plant now, you will harvest later.

A nurse's tender loving care really does ease the pain of a medical procedure, and grandma's cakes really do taste better, if we perceive them to be made with love - suggests newly published research by a University of Maryland psychologist.

"The way we read another person's intentions changes our physical experience of the world," says UMD Assistant Professor Kurt Gray, author of "The Power of Good Intentions," newly published online ahead of print in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science. Gray directs the Maryland Mind Perception and Morality Lab.

"The results confirm that good intentions - even misguided ones - can sooth pain, increase pleasure and make things taste better," the study concludes. It describes the ability of benevolence to improve physical experience as a "vindication for the power of good."

While it seems clear that good and evil intentions can change the experience of social events - think of a reaction to a mean-spirited, cutting remark compared to gentle teasing spoken with a smile - this study shows that physical events are influenced by the perceived contents of another person's mind." It seems we also use the intentions of others as a guide for basic physical experience," Gray writes in the journal.

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new” said Brian Tracy.

Recently I have been trying to teach some people some very simple IT. It has been frustrating because they had closed minds. They thought that it would be too difficult for them to learn so they didn’t even try.

One of the biggest reasons why people get stuck in reading and discussing things, instead of taking action to change their lives for the better, is simply that for a while it feels uncomfortable.

When you get stuck in your comfort zone then you are closed up. You create barriers that stop you learning and achieving new things.

The emotions you experience are often a result of what you focus your mind on. Change what you focus on about something and you can change your emotions about that thing.

For years, the 4-minute mile was considered not merely unreachable but, according to physiologists of the time, dangerous to the health of any athlete who attempted to reach it.

When Roger Bannister crossed the finish line with a time of 3 minutes, 59.4 seconds, he broke through a psychological barrier as well.

Whether it's investing in stocks, bungee jumping or public speaking, why do we often plan to take risks but then "chicken out" when the moment of truth arrives?

In a new paper in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making, scientists from the UniversityofColorado Boulder and Carnegie Mellon University argue that this "illusion of courage" is one example of an "empathy gap" — that is, our inability to imagine how we will behave in future emotional situations. According to the empathy gap theory, when the moment of truth is far off you aren't feeling, and therefore are out of touch with, the fear you are likely to experience when push comes to shove.

In a series of three experiments, the researchers found that people overestimate their willingness to engage in psychologically distant embarrassing public performances, and also found that they could reduce this illusion of courage by inducing immediate emotions that effectively put them in touch with the fear they would experience.

In the first two experiments, college students were asked if they would be willing to engage in a future embarrassing situation — telling a funny story to their class in one study, and dancing to James Brown's "Sex Machine" in front of the class in the other — in exchange for a few dollars. Students were either asked outright or after being exposed to short films that aroused mild experiences of fear and anger. Students who did not view movie clips significantly overestimated their willingness to sing or dance.